Doing Your Business at Your Place of Business Thread

[SmoothPancakes]

So the other day I was at the gas station, and while I was looking for a drink, I got a sudden gassy feeling. So I grabbed my stuff and I start putting stuff on the counter and start the normal small talk and hand her my money.

So she starts giving me my change and by this time I can't handle the gassiness. So I grab my change and proceed to go to my car, and as I reach the car, I can't handle it anymore. I grab onto the car for dear life, and let out a fart that can barely be described in words. If I could describe it, it would be as so. My cheeks bloomed open like a spring flower and I let forth a mighty trump, the likes of which would make gods shake in fear. I'm hanging onto my side mirror of my car for dear life, as my swollen intestines forcefully deflate, causing my ass hams to thunderously clap together. The sound that came out would rival any Ricer's sub-woofer. As the rest of the noxious air blasted out of me, I was filled with a sudden rush of ectasy to finally get that out of my body.

I looked behind me to see the gas station attendant in utter shock. She then told me that she shorted me 2 dollars. I briskly jumped into my car and drove off. I don't think I'll ever be going back to that gas station again.

[JBHuskers]

She was probably turned on.

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[bdoughty]

First time visitor to this thread (only took two years) and I am amazed that this is 24 pages long. I think sometimes we share a bit too much of ourselves on the internet. If you guys start posting pics, seek help.

[countryboy]

First time visitor to this thread (only took two years) and I am amazed that this is 24 pages long. I think sometimes we share a bit too much of ourselves on the internet. If you guys start posting pics, seek help.

The bolded part got me to laughing hysterically. Not sure why...but thanks, it was much needed.

[SCClassof93]

First time visitor to this thread (only took two years) and I am amazed that this is 24 pages long. I think sometimes we share a bit too much of ourselves on the internet. If you guys start posting pics, seek help.

Thanks man, you just gave me a great idea for the "something wonderful on Earth thread"......cheers

[JBHuskers]

First time visitor to this thread (only took two years) and I am amazed that this is 24 pages long. I think sometimes we share a bit too much of ourselves on the internet. If you guys start posting pics, seek help.

I think a few pages back someone instituted the rule of no pics of your epic dumps

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[countryboy]

Not sure whether to feel offended or a sense of accomplishment, but after I bombed porcelain harbor today at work, I noticed someone walking into the bathroom with air freshner. Followed up by a mass email to the entire staff about being polite and spraying air freshner in the bathroom after doing our business.

[steelerfan]

Not sure whether to feel offended or a sense of accomplishment, but after I bombed porcelain harbor today at work, I noticed someone walking into the bathroom with air freshner. Followed up by a mass email to the entire staff about being polite and spraying air freshner in the bathroom after doing our business.

I'm using Tapatalk 2 and the Cleveland Browns STILL suck.

[JBHuskers]

I had the clock in and go straight to the shitter day today. Thank god my drive to work is short, but the 5 mins seemed like 5 hours when all of a sudden at a stop light it hit.

[SCClassof93]

Not sure whether to feel offended or a sense of accomplishment, but after I bombed porcelain harbor today at work, I noticed someone walking into the bathroom with air freshner. Followed up by a mass email to the entire staff about being polite and spraying air freshner in the bathroom after doing our business.

[JBHuskers]

Not sure whether to feel offended or a sense of accomplishment, but after I bombed porcelain harbor today at work, I noticed someone walking into the bathroom with air freshner. Followed up by a mass email to the entire staff about being polite and spraying air freshner in the bathroom after doing our business.

[countryboy]

Well...color me embarrassed.

Was in a meeting with a new account that I landed. This new account has one fine purchasing manager. I mean, this lady was built. Anyways, we are in the board room and myself, our sales manager, and the President of our company are giving our presentation on what we do, yada yada yada, when I drop my pen, bend over to get it and let one long nasty ass fart. I mean, it was so freakin loud, boats were coming off the ocean and docking. And not only was it loud, but it was raunchy. I mean, paint was immediately peeling off the wall, this thing was bad.

Needless to say, we had to cut our meeting short and evacuate the room. The purchasing manager and lead engineer left, without a sales friendly departure. They just bee-lined for the door and got the hell out of there.

Not sure if I'll hear from them again. Not sure I want to...

[SmoothPancakes]

Since even though something being wonderful is based on one's own perspective, not some universal guideline, and there are apparently restrictions on the shit we find wonderful, I'll post this here. I just took a giant fucking shit and it was fucking wonderful, both in mass and feeling of ecstasy afterwards. Maybe now I won't have to deal with dipshits bitching about something I personally find wonderful.

[steelerfan]

Since even though something being wonderful is based on one's own perspective, not some universal guideline, and there are apparently restrictions on the shit we find wonderful, I'll post this here. I just took a giant fucking shit and it was fucking wonderful, both in mass and feeling of ecstasy afterwards. Maybe now I won't have to deal with dipshits bitching about something I personally find wonderful.

If this didn't happen at work, it belongs in The Nothing Thread.

I'm using Tapatalk 2 and the Cleveland Browns STILL suck.

[SmoothPancakes]

If this didn't happen at work, it belongs in The Nothing Thread.

I'm using Tapatalk 2 and the Cleveland Browns STILL suck.

Yep, it was at work. Unfortunately I was the only one in the building, everyone else had already left for the day, so I couldn't share the wonderful stench with the sales staff. Maybe tomorrow.

[steelerfan]

Yep, it was at work. Unfortunately I was the only one in the building, everyone else had already left for the day, so I couldn't share the wonderful stench with the sales staff. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm using Tapatalk 2 and the Cleveland Browns STILL suck.

[JBHuskers]

Jesus. Hide the women and children.

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[SmoothPancakes]

Yep, it was at work. Unfortunately I was the only one in the building, everyone else had already left for the day, so I couldn't share the wonderful stench with the sales staff. Maybe tomorrow.

Mission accomplished.

I just bombed porcelain harbor. I felt this one coming on for a while, I could feel it brewing for at least a good two hours. Even with the HVAC at work, it was having a damn hard time keeping up with the smell. Oh those poor, poor bastards back in the sales staff. The bathroom is literally right down the hallway, 20 feet from where they work.

[JBHuskers]

The handicap stall door has been off it's hinges all week I guess someone had an ass-mergency to where they broke the door off doing the penguin walk to the stall.

[SCClassof93]

Mission accomplished.

I just bombed porcelain harbor. I felt this one coming on for a while, I could feel it brewing for at least a good two hours. Even with the HVAC at work, it was having a damn hard time keeping up with the smell. Oh those poor, poor bastards back in the sales staff. The bathroom is literally right down the hallway, 20 feet from where they work.