The Funny Tweets Thread

[JBHuskers]

@PimpBillClinton

Diamonds are a girl's best friend? Are we sure it's not their vibrator, their pulsating shower head or....DEEEZ NUUUUTTTS???!!!

[cdj]

The good news is that none of @JBHuskers' tweets will be appearing in this thread.

:easy:

[JBHuskers]

The good news is that none of @JBHuskers' tweets will be appearing in this thread.

:easy:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yl3UMO-TkE

Try the veal :D

[psusnoop]

The good news is that none of @JBHuskers' tweets will be appearing in this thread.

:easy:

:D

[JBHuskers]

:D

@denisleary
Ja Rule gets 2 yrs. Anything under 5 for a rapper ain't a sentence it's a career move.

[NatureBoy]

@damienwoody - If u ask @KingJames for a dollar , he'll only give u 75 cents , he never gives you the fourth quarter #Ouch!!! :D:D:D:D

[JBHuskers]

@PimpBillClinton
If @KimKardashian wants to make another sex tape with colored people I hope she picks the Blue Man Group.

[psuexv]

This is a whole list of funny tweets.... Big fan of PSU but why the F is the Bell on Old Main tweeting Dings on the hour?
http://twitter.com/#!/OldMainBell

OldMainBell OldMainBell
ding. ding! Ding? Ding! ding. #PennState
7 minutes ago

Hey in case you didn't know it's 5 o'clock :fp:

[JBHuskers]

Earlier today @Jesus_H_Christ tweeted "that's me in the corner"

:D :D

Not sure how many will get that.

[Sinister]

Earlier today @Jesus_H_Christ tweeted "that's me in the corner"

:D :D

Not sure how many will get that.

Losing my religion.

[JBHuskers]

Losing my religion.

:up:

[JBHuskers]

I'm sure Obama will address this:

@PimpBillClinton #askobama Has Michelle ever tried to filibuster her way out of butt sex?

[psuexv]

Not really funny but digging the profile pic

http://twitter.com/#!/MsPican

Edit - maybe NSFW

[JBHuskers]

She sure looks like a fun gurl.

[psusnoop]

Not really funny but digging the profile pic

http://twitter.com/#!/MsPican

Edit - maybe NSFW

:))

[JBHuskers]

@KegsnEggs

That sound you can faintly hear through your computer is 1,000+ NFL players Googling "How to pass a drug test."

[SmoothPancakes]

:D

[morsdraconis]

:D

Nice!

[psusnoop]

@KegsnEggs

That sound you can faintly hear through your computer is 1,000+ NFL players Googling "How to pass a drug test."

:D

[psusnoop]

@mclassick Matthew Classick

Dammit that's a better hashtag than mine. RT @RobertDEdwards: It's okay if Casey Anthony wants to babysit your kid. #jerrymealssaysitssafe


@RobertDEdwards Rob Edwards

Go ahead Washington, let the debt ceiling deadline pass. It's cool because #jerrymealssaysitssafe.


@jonanddeek Derek Kastner

Waste your whole day today with #jerrymealssaysitssafe. Hey Terrell Pryor go ahead and sell those pants.#jerrymealssaysitssafe


@jasonr44240 Jason Richardson

Sweet! Making some cash today. Passing along my bank info to help out a prince today. #jerrymealssaysitssafe


@churchofbasebal Church of Baseball

"Hey Paco, let's cross the border into Arizona." "But we're undocumented and that American has a gun." "It's ok, #jerrymealssaysitssafe."


@ronnopwasky03 Ron Nopwasky

I think I'm going to walk around the prison today with no guards #jerrymealssaysitssafe

[JBHuskers]

http://twitter.com/#!/owengood/status/101402839187857408

[morsdraconis]

:smh:

[psuexv]

So I guess what she is saying is that she's got burning loins.

ErinAndrews: The good news Green Tea doesn't stain and smells good..the BAD news it was a large, I hadn't taken a sip, and I have burns all over my legs

[JBHuskers]

Probably the first time she has said that the bad news is it was large.

[JBHuskers]

@MensHumor

Some girls are so hot, but raging sluts...I wish there was a "clear history" button for their vaginas.

[steelerfan]

:D

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[JBHuskers]

@DeathStarPR: Definition - Ackbarophobia (noun): The abnormal fear that somehow, some way, EVERYTHING is a trap.

[morsdraconis]

@DeathStarPR: Definition - Ackbarophobia (noun): The abnormal fear that somehow, some way, EVERYTHING is a trap.

:D

That's excellent!

[JBHuskers]

@PimpBillClinton
A vagina is the ultimate man cave.

[psuexv]

From Infinity Ward on COD bans.

@IxJayJayxI Every ban unique to the level of douchiness of the offense. The greater the douche the greater the length. PermaDouche possible.

[SmoothPancakes]

From Infinity Ward on COD bans.

@IxJayJayxI Every ban unique to the level of douchiness of the offense. The greater the douche the greater the length. PermaDouche possible.

Amen. Ban all the douche fuckers.

[JBHuskers]

@KimJongIlinHell Kim Jong-il IN HELL

Hell is a funny place. Helen Keller can see, Gary Coleman is tall, and Michael Jackson is black. Weird stuff.

[morsdraconis]

Why is Helen Keller in hell?

[JBHuskers]

Why is Helen Keller in hell?

You'd have to ask Lucifer.

[steelerfan]

Why is Helen Keller in hell?

The Bible wasn't in Braille? :dunno:

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[psusnoop]

@KimJongIlinHell Kim Jong-il IN HELL

Hell is a funny place. Helen Keller can see, Gary Coleman is tall, and Michael Jackson is black. Weird stuff.
:D:D

[JBHuskers]

I did a Google search for why is Helen Keller in hell, and all I got was "who the hell is Helen Keller".

[psuexv]

TheFakeESPN: LSU is reportedly stuck in New Orleans, a 50 yard line was painted in front of the team bus

[steelerfan]

TheFakeESPN: LSU is reportedly stuck in New Orleans, a 50 yard line was painted in front of the team bus

:D

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[psuexv]

JPosnanski: Ate at same restaurant as Tim Tebow in Indianapolis last night. Contrary to Twitter reports, the water stayed in water form

[psuexv]

shalisemyoung: Robert Kraft on possible SI cover jinx: "the only Sports Illustrated cover I care about is the swimsuit issue" Lmao

[psuexv]

@mistermajorr The QB battle in New York is going to be like deciding who is the smartest retard on the short bus.

[psusnoop]

@mistermajorr The QB battle in New York is going to be like deciding who is the smartest retard on the short bus.

:D

[steelerfan]

@mistermajorr The QB battle in New York is going to be like deciding who is the smartest retard on the short bus.

http://img.tapatalk.com/62c401e2-182e-09d4.jpg

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[JBHuskers]

http://img.tapatalk.com/62c401e2-182e-09d4.jpg

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This is your phone wallpaper isn't it?

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

[morsdraconis]

:D :D :D

[steelerfan]

This is your phone wallpaper isn't it?

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk

No.

This is.

http://img.tapatalk.com/62c401e2-2660-03a1.jpg

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[psuexv]

:D :D :D :D :D

[psusnoop]

:D:D

[gschwendt]

http://twitter.com/#!/JBHuskers/status/199981978454462464 (http://lemmetweetthatforyou.com/t/do74w)

[DariusLock]

:fp::fp:

[JBHuskers]

http://twitter.com/#!/JBHuskers/status/199981978454462464 (http://lemmetweetthatforyou.com/t/do74w)

Looks like someone is really hoping.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

[psusnoop]

Ouch :smh: :fp:

[SmoothPancakes]

Ok..... Time to leave.

http://i766.photobucket.com/albums/xx305/SmoothPancakes/Gifs/3204840swsw.gif

[psuexv]

So a friend of mine just posted this....
sxb176: this is so Eric... RT "@ManlyAsshole: If I've ever offended you, just know that from the bottom of my heart, I really don't give a shit."

Some people know me all to well :D :D

[ram29jackson]

[Q


nevermind....

[steelerfan]

[Q


nevermind....

Nice post, ram. :nod:

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[steelerfan]

So a friend of mine just posted this....
sxb176: this is so Eric... RT "@ManlyAsshole: If I've ever offended you, just know that from the bottom of my heart, I really don't give a shit."

Some people know me all to well :D :D

ManlyAsshole? :sick:

You run with a strange crowd, bro.

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[JBHuskers]

ManlyAsshole? :sick:

You run with a strange crowd, bro.

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:+1:

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[SCClassof93]

Looks like someone is really hoping.

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And gives me another reason to continue avoiding twitter and facebook :D

[psuexv]

PimpCartman: I bet the "YMCA" dance is harder to do in Chinese.

[psusnoop]

:D

[JBHuskers]

:D :D :D

http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s159/jbennett98/notacop.jpg

[gschwendt]

I'm writing this from the hospital. Don't worry, the doctors say I will be fine, but I must warn you - the Dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.

[JBHuskers]

I winced a little there.

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[psusnoop]

:D:D

[steelerfan]

:D

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[JBHuskers]

Twitter now supports GIFs! That will go downhill quickly, but this one made me chuckle

479320203956731905

[skipwondah33]

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/dar-today-421.jpg?w=550&h=546

[JBHuskers]

:D Kurt Sutter's Twitter (creator of Sons of Anarchy)

482247597239726080

[psusnoop]

:D Kurt Sutter's Twitter (creator of Sons of Anarchy)

482247597239726080

:sick:

[gschwendt]

500272194304638976

[cdj]

517476293697622016

Not sure how this will load/look, but it is a series of four pics showing a DM conversation this Twitter user allegedly had with a CNN producer. Read them all for a laugh.

[JeffHCross]

Eh. Not that funny. Don't like that he posted her cell # either

[gschwendt]

542386680041574400

[cdj]

This is great.

561174931107774464

[SmoothPancakes]

I'll give the guy props at least for handling it honorably and offering to donate $5,000 to a charity of his choice.

#TheScriptIsDead

[cdj]

565679191119917059

[JBHuskers]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q5NUBgMkR0

[cdj]

578890026605391872

[JBHuskers]

B-b-b-b-b-b-urrrrrrrrrrrn

[JBHuskers]

Brilliant! :D :D :D

642342945501278208

[steelerfan]

Lol.